My Proton Gradient

High doses of vitamin C are contra-indicated for people like me who have issues with oxalate. (Oxalate is a crystal found in plants capable of photosynthesis.) I know this, but I have been feeling pretty good lately, and grew careless. Last night I used a very high intensity vitamin C serum on my face, neck, and arms.

This was a mistake. When I woke up, my whole body felt flooded with oxalate. I have experienced this before, when flying backward in time (east coast to west coast). It is a little difficult to describe. The body aches and feels stiff, as if filled with crystal. I feel it especially in my bladder, which can feel as if it is made of glass, and in the sensation of interstitial cystitis. Both my parents were kidney-stone formers.

There is also a feeling of gears grinding to a halt. An increased internal pressure, as if my proton gradient is too high—as if I am holding back an explosion. I have had this feeling in the past, but not as bad as today. It could have been made worse by the fact that I took P5P, the active form of vitamin B6, for a few days this week.

Perhaps the best way to describe it is it feels as if my whole body wants to explode. I feel it intensely in my teeth.

I also have trouble, sometimes, with the perception of acidity. When my brain perceives high acidity, it will not grant permission for me to move forward in time. For my brain to grant permission for my metabolism to move forward, it has to perceive alkalinity. If I want to benefit from a strong cup of Italian coffee, I need a little lemon rind to go with it. Or, better yet, a glass of organic orange juice or organic lemonade. When I move forward in time, it feels like tightening a spool of thread. When I move backward in time, it feels like loosening the spool. I have to loosen the spool a little, first, if I want to tighten it.

I got out of this jam with niacin.

The form I used was nicotinic acid. This is the only kind of niacin I tolerate. Designed for sports endurance, this is plain niacin, immediate flush, 250 mg. It helped me dramatically and immediately.

I felt looser in my body, and was able to stretch. The feeling that my proton gradient was too high, that I was suppressing an explosion, gradually dispersed. I could feel it happening. I could feel myself being “squeezed” as my face took on a temporary sunburned look—the flush niacin is famous for—and heat was released as my proton gradient got back down to where it needed to be.

Throughout the afternoon, I kept stretching—a blissful kind of stretch that I felt particularly in my ligaments and tendons. I splayed my fingers and toes as wide as I could, and each time I did so, it felt better. It was as if I were elongating in time, as if I were being released from having been foreshortened.

The only place that felt a little off was the base of my skull. At the base of my skull/top of my spine, the niacin made me feel slightly too loose, and I kept having the feeling of wanting to tighten. I don’t know if the perception of looseness there was accurate, or was just an induced impression.

The dose I took of nicotinic acid was relatively low, 250 mg. On the bottle, there is a warning not to take more than 250 mg, and I was glad for this. In the past, when I have taken niacin, taking too much makes me feel just as bad as too little. When I am too dilated, I can feel the protons rushing in to fill the vacuum. The pressure I felt this morning—in every organ of my body including my eyeballs—was very much like a calcium storm.

I can get the calcium storm feeling from too little niacin—or too much. I don’t want my body, my image of myself, to be too small and tight—or too large and wide. If it is too large and too wide, the protons rush in.

I want to scale with myself, to be (approximately) the same scale … as what? As my blood. Lately it feels more and more as if my consciousness dwells not in my brain but in my blood.

Nicotinamide (a form of niacin) has been looked at as both a cause of triple-negative breast cancer—and a treatment for it. In eastern medicine, they say “like cures like.”

My brain can be opportunistic in the way it utilizes supplements. If I give it a gas pedal, it uses it to slow down (because now it knows it can speed up). If I give it a brake pedal, it uses it to speed up (because now it knows it can slow down). I am famous for paradoxical reactions.

Vitamin C is something we seem to need more of when we are accelerating in spacetime. Scurvy was first discovered in sailors. Sensing a dramatic increase in its anti-oxidant reserves, my body used it to slam on the brakes. It was like flying from the west coast to the east coast—like waking up in the past.

Is the earth, too, capable of moving forward and backward in time—of expanding and contracting? I noticed, while I was dealing with these feelings today, that there was a 6.8 magnitude earthquake in the Philippines. There was also a recent 5.3 magnitude earthquake in West Texas; a 6.4 magnitude earthquake in Nepal; and a swarm of intense earthquakes in Iceland.

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