What if time—the Big Bang—is not a vacuum, but a tightly controlled explosion. We don’t feel the exploding force and the collapsing force because—in the present—they are held in balance. But slip too far forward in time, and the centripetal (collapsing) force becomes too high (ALS?). Or, slip too far backward in time, and the centrifugal (exploding) force becomes too high (Parkinson’s?).
We want the size of the red blood cells and the pressure of the blood vessels to match. For maximum control, my CNS needs to feel peripheral resistance.
My mother and I both suffered from Reynaud’s. In Reynaud’s, in cold weather, it feels as if the tiny capillaries are too small for the size of the RBCs.
Let’s say red blood cells are not sitting snug within my blood vessels, and I can’t modulate my blood’s movement the way I want. I vasoconstrict, tightening my blood vessels. But is it possible to become “trapped” in a state that is too vasoconstricted?
In order to vasodilate and still keep the connection, I need larger RBCs. So I have to first thicken my blood. But to make a new larger set of RBCs takes time—120 days. The amount of time it takes to make a new set of blood limits me. I wish I could make a whole new set of blood instantaneously.
I am also limited by perception. To be too vasoconstricted might feel normal—if my RBCs are too small. To be too vasodilated might feel normal—if my RBCs are too large.
What if, with Autism, two things are wrong at once. My RBCs are too large, and the pressure in the system is too low. We don’t see the two dysfunctions because the system is consistent with itself. When my doctor told me: “Too many of your new RBCs are too large,” it was only observable because there was a smaller set of RBCs in circulation. There was contrast—a backgroung against which to observe their aberrant size.
What if, with ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), two things are wrong at once. My RBCs are too small, and the pressure in the system is too high. We don’t see the twin dysfunctions because the system is consistent with itself.
When the RBC is too small and the pressure in the system is too high, I can become trapped. If I try to decrease the pressure, to “let go” of the RBC, I lose the connection and feel like I am going to lose consciousness. Since living in a moldy house, I have had a lot of issues with POTS.
