I can pull back the lens on myself and view myself through a wider lens.
I have thoughts. If I pull back the lens, I can observe the self that has thoughts. If I pull back the lens further, I can observe the self who observes the self who has thoughts. The wider my lens, the easier it is to see all sides of an argument with less attachment, more objectivity, and more love.
I have a sister with whom I do not see eye to eye. Many of my life decisions mystify her, and the feeling is mutual. One day, I found a way to feel close to her in spite of this. I said: you know what? She does things completely differently than I do. But I bet she has her reasons. I do things completely differently than she does them. But I have my reasons.
That simple twist helped me a lot.
Many aspects of contemporary culture prime our brains toward combat thinking—”us and them.” But I find there is greater strength and truth in unity thinking—only us.